I’m leaving for college September 4th. I am extremely nervous about college.. Not about having to meet new people, or living somewhere other than in Connecticut. But because I am anxious and nervous to see where God will be in my life. I am praying, hoping, wishing to stay in such a great relationship with Him. Right now I think I’m so close to Him.. I mean, I just feel connected, I feel loved, I feel great all the time. I feel Him right there, with me.. All the time. I am so incredibly nervous as to what college will bring me. Do you think I should be creating a “survival guide to God” for when I go away to college? So much anxiety over me having an opportunity to lose God up in Massachusetts… What do you think are the key things to do so I don’t lose Him? I’m nervous.
I don’ t think anyone reads this anymore.. But I guess I don’t update often enough for people to want to read it.
Life is good right now. It really is. I’m happy with myself, who I am, what I do, how I act and how I feel. But man, I just want to vent to someone. All my frustrations with situations around me. All my feelings unleashed. I am not perfect and have just as many flaws as people around me… but to see people around me waste their summer, to have inactivity lead to sin.. to see time wasted. To see hours of love go into someone and nothing returned. It really just makes me frustrated. I feel like I should be farther in my walk than I am right now. I feel like I should be doing more than I am right now. I want to be in the bible everyday, but I struggle with it so much.
I have been slacking on SOAP. Sorry.
John 5
Scripture: 7
”Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
Observation:
For 38 years this man sat at the well trying to get down to it. Giving up he sat there day after day unable to move. Day after day people walked past him like he was just dirt on the floor… No one paid attention to him, no one cared for him. Not even his family came looking for him to help him up off of the ground.
Application:
Where am i walking straight past people who are on the ground in dire need. Where am I pretending like I don’t see people..
Prayer:
Lord, Give me the strength to make my faith an action. Next time I see someone in need let me act on that and show Your perfect love through me. Fill me with courage to act out and help someone. I don’t want to let you down anymore.
I read something else I felt I needed to share.
John 5
Scripture: 9 – 10
At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, and so the Jews said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”
Observation:
Clearly after 38 years they knew this man to be the one they walked past every day to get to the well. They must have known he was invalid and could not walk. But yet, instead of rejoicing and celebrating this incredible miracle.. They hound him with questions and judge him for caring his mat that he has not be able to carry for the past 38 years.
Application:
I get such a gut wrenching feeling when I read this. My stomach hurt. No one cared of this miracle; they only cared that he was disobeying the Sabbath law of carrying your mat.
Prayer:
Lord, Don’t ever let me heart become so calloused that I forget to celebrate in times of joy. Let me so sensitive to joy that I become easily excited over the littlest things. Let me root for your team and never Satan’s. Keep me strong in everything I do. Lord, don’t ever let me become like this. I love you.
