My computer hums a deep melody of power, the only thing being heard is that and the librarian making her rounds through the rows of computers hypocritically yelling at students to be quiet. A friend walks by, I grin and go about my business. She smiles, and walks past going about her business. The typing and clicking heard faintly through the grand library reminds me of an orchestra practicing for a big night. Two people whisper to each other, probably about Chemistry. They’re brains are working and thinking, expanding and growing. A kid sits at a computer and play’s pool, trying to pass the time. I wonder if he has any school work and is procrastinating. The chair I sit in is a stereotypical school chair, hard and requires great posture. Artwork lines the walls, people’s creativity posted for the whole school to see. The sun shines in through a back window onto my neck, warming and waking my skin. Outside in the hallway people rush back and forth, like little bee’s on a mission to somewhere far more important. In here, people work with great precision and a certain delicate way of doing things. The printer hums and makes some noise as it prints a boy’s creative thoughts onto a piece of paper. The boy picks it up and makes a noise, the paper is hot. Sitting back down he reads over it and gives it an approval. He gives his computer a break and shut’s it down. Walking out the door he begins his journey to someplace else, somewhere else, a more important place to go. I sit here and think of all the lives intertwined in this one room, how one person can affect another which then inturns affects another. Like a long, crawling spider-web weaving throughout the school. The bell rings and like clockwork everyone rushes off to someplace more important.
Today it rained. Usually I’m not as happy on days that it rains. However, After school while it was down pouring outside I sat in my livingroom and watched “Little People, Big World”.. Mike’s used this show a ton of times to show the immenseness of God and what he can do in people’s lives. And as I sat there and watch them go on their trip to the Bahamas I was just utterly blown away.
Today was a great day. I watched “little people, big world” and felt the grandness of God. I felt him in my heart and my body. I read the Bible during commercials and really learned a lot more than I’ve learned in a reading session in the past. My pages are all marked up from comments and questions. God is so great. Sure, I’m strapped for cash and praying something comes through so I can fill my gas tank until my next paycheck, But if I didn’t have situations where I could chose to lean on God instead of leaning on other things in life, Where would I be? I love God and I love our church.
PS: Lauren Woods, if you’re out there.. Please blog more — I miss reading your take on the Bible. (more…)
God, I want you to use me.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m someone just hanging around. I want to have motivation to do great things FOR you. I want that burning desire in my heart to live FOR you. I want my life to help broaden your family. I want to make sacrifices FOR you. I want to know what it feels like to have to sacrifice for you, just like you had to sacrifice for us.. even just a hint of it. You’ve done so much in my life so far and I want more. I’m greedy God, I’m not going to lie. I want. I need. I desperatly beg for You to do unthinkable things in my life. I don’t want just an ordinary life. Use me please. Make me glow so bright that people know You’re in me. Let me be a rolemodel to people around me. Please.
“So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them” – “Perks of being a Wallflower”
Sometime’s I wonder where I came from and where I’m going. This fall I’m going to college and it really hurts that I’ll be leaving people. I can’t believe it’s almost there.
I’m growing in God and it makes me excited, this past week I have been doing good for the most part and feel myself growing. I’m beginning to be happy all the time, be confident with myself, be confident with who I am. I look up to a few guys and I see myself start to act like them, a man. I’m taking responsibility for myself and I hope to keep strong. The one thing I need help with however is bringing people to Christ. I don’t think I have ever directly brought someone to Christ before.. I don’t think my invitations to LP or Catalyst (was Cinema) Church were ever answered. I want to be like Meredith in the fact that I want to be open with God to everyone around me and I want to show them how amazing it is. Being a guy and trying this is more difficult I think than a girl, because we’re meant to be manly and it’s hard to be manly and show love at the same time… It’s like a big swinging scale on where to balance things.
I’m doing great with reading the bible, I wish I could remember things a lot easier though, I try reading every day and I usually do, however the things I read yesterday aren’t always on the top of my mind.. Bogged down by the day to day life.
Donny and I have been working out together for the past few weeks and I’m getting stronger, We went running yesterday and then the gym and I was exhausted by the end of the night. While running I get to think a lot about God and how he formed everything, It’s a nice time to just soak in your surroundings and the people you pass.
I wonder if people read this blog anymore, I’m not sure because I just haven’t written anything in awhile. Maybe it’s because I jump around a lot.
Anyways, I’m sitting here in school. About to do some Chemistry homework, Have a great day. Keep me in your prayers with my growth of God.
Say a comment or two, let me know you’re alive.
an old myspace post i thought was interesting…. i wrote it like 2 years ago
So, I’m sitting here, listening to a Flyleaf song about God and Him always being present and It leads me to think of all the times I’ve said I was Christian but did not act like it. How many people a day do that? They go through the day and if they are asked if they are Christian say, “Yes” but you don’t live it.
What’s ever scary is that what would I do if my life was threatened and the person asked me, “are you a Christian”, and a “Yes” would get me killed? It may seem like an easy question for yourself, “Oh, of course I’d say Yes.”… But would I really? It brings on so many emotions to know that I may not say that 3 letter word. It scares me so much to know that what once was a good relationship with God is now hanging by threads due to time. What is time anyways? How was time created and under what circumstance was it made for? Why must be plan out every single moment of a day to accomplish ones goals instead of putting things into God’s hands and submitting to him perfectly to lead you in the right direction. So many questions and so little… time.
We all are going to eventually die, and when I hear someone say, “Why do you believe in God, we are all going to die someday..” It brings on such feelings like why shouldn’t I? I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior that has allowed me to know God so amazingly.. Why NOT lead a life of purity and faith-base by treating everyone like Jesus would and.. have something to LOOK forward to when you die.
What do you think? My random mummo jummbo rant has so many questions in my head. What do you think of God, and living Christian and such…
I have been on Vacation all week, and spent 6 out of 8 days at Dennis’. Wow, that’s freaking crazy.. I’m thinking Faith has a 4th child. Right?
I haven’t done anything this week but spend money. Always seems to happen when I’m not in school.
Nothing drastically has changed in my life. I’m still loving God and trying to show people Him through me, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Hope you are doing great. Nothing interesting in this post, sorry!
Faith + Doubt
Recap: You can have Faith + Doubt as long as it doesn’t lead to innactivity.
David + Psalms.
Hope in a hopeless world
Psalm 33:22
“May your unfailing love rest upon us Lord…..”
How can we maintain hope?
Hope- Person or Thing you lean on
Hopelessness- Person or thing you lean on comes crashing down.
Romans 8:20
What are you leaning your “ladder of hope” on?
“Against it’s will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay.”
Everything is running down. God has allowed sin to run rampant?
There is only 1 place that we can put our hope in. All things will crumble besides God.
HOW DO WE PUT OUR HOPE IN GOD?
Lean your ladder on God.
-Lean on God, Don’t lean on people
-Exercise more, it will lift your spirits
-Sleep well, chemical balance will follow
-Take care of yourself, one who is positive loves them self more
-Help others, take the glory off of you and place it on God
-Eat Well, chemical balance will follow
-Get off meds that do nothing but imbalance you.
Whether life is good or bad, place hope in God.
Today was a great service, loved it!
and I guess i’m gonna try to take as many advantages to say that today. Because nothing special will happen, it’s just annother day.
I need to start blogging again.
I wentyo SUNY Delhi last night into today, it’s in upperstate NY (about 4 hours from here) and I can truly say I am excited for college. From the energy on campus to the student life, it’s such a crazy experience I can’t wait to get ahold of. Now, the sad part. I really know I’m going to ball like a baby when the day comes for me to leave. Being away in Florida for a week really showed me how much I care for you all (everyone at cinema church) I don’t know how I’m going to be away for months at a time alone. Wow, if only God were to take me on another course with cinema church…
Back to the point for this whole post really. I’ve been slacking on blogging about what I’m reading and my school work is starting to drop bc I’m getting senioritis. I’m going to have to kick it back into gear, I feel I’m losing my close relationship with God… Not good
Posted this a LONG time ago, but I feel it still has big impacts.
